Dear reader,
I am in need of some serious help. Please don’t call 9-1-1 until you hear me out. If after you hear what I have to say you think this situation requires police intervention, then please by all means call 9-1-1.

Reader, as you know, I am a huge movie buff. So when I received my cousins wedding invitation I jumped for joy. Seriously, I jumped – Chet ran away. It’s a movie themed wedding in … wait for it … are you excited … wait … awwww yea … LAS VEGAS! Vegas baby, Vegas!

So a list of why this event is totally and absolutely mahhhvelous.

1) Its in Vegas and I’ve never been.
2) It’s a movie themed wedding; guests should (er, have to) dress up as a movie character or celebrity.
3) Its in January so it won’t be freaking hot.
4) My dad may go as Mrs. Doubtfire.

You’re probably thinking at this moment, “Gosh this is the perfect idea for Tennille - a movie themed wedding? She’s got it made. While everyone else will go as Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman, Tennille probably has a list of the coolest characters ever in her back pocket!”

Well you, sir, are wrong. It is a great idea – but it’s the hardest decision I’ve had to make in years….YEARS Reader! Go red? Easy-peasy lemon squeezy! Go to college? Piece of cake! Start a real career at a boring company? Done! This however, is pure torture. Talk about needing some Ritalin to focus on who to go as.

I have ADHD on a somewhat regular basis, but since I’ve received this invitation, I have ADHDTI (that’s Times Infinity). So many questions have surfaced....

1) Can I go as a male character?

2) Is this about testing people, therefore I should pick the most random character ever?

3) Do I have to go as someone I look like, therefore the character should have red hair?

4) Or do I have to go as someone I act like?

5) Will I have to recite lines?

6) Will I have to act like this person the entire night?

7) I’m going to want to be comfortable because I’ll be partying in Vegas, right?

8) Do I tag along with my sister as The Bride from Kill Bill? My sister is going as O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) and my cousin is going as Elle Driver (Darryl Hannah). I would then be The Bride (Uma) in a kick-ass yellow suit. The only reason this idea sounds great is because of the purchase of awesome yellow tennis shoes. But it would just be the three of us – no Bill, no Vernita Green and no Budd – which sounds weird to me. Does it to you dear Reader?

9) If I go as a red-haired character – I’m left with a short list which includes [sigh] Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Who else does this list include?

10) Do I want to look sexy, scary or funny?

11) Do I listen to my neighbor and go as Lucille Ball or Molly Ringwald from Pretty in Pink?

12) Do I have to go all out? Like if the character has black hair – do I absolutely need to wear a wig?

So Reader, here comes the “ask”. Please help me come up with a few movie characters. I’ll be taking a poll once I can get the list down to 10. Here are a few (er, a lot of) random ideas (other than those mentioned above):

1) Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything
2) Lucille or Lindsay Bluth from Arrested Development
3) Fanny Brice from Funny Girl
4) Tallahasse (Woody Harrelson) or Bill Murray from Zombieland
5) Peter Vankman from Ghostbusters
6) Lelo from The Fifth Element
7) Buddy the Elf from Elf
8) Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada
9) Lois or Peter Griffin from The Family Guy
10) Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction
11) Amelie from Amelie
12) Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
13) Pris or Rachael from Blade Runner
14) Hit Girl from Kick-Ass
15) Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde

I’d appreciate some recommendations soon, so I can start losing a ton of weight to fit into the Catwoman bodysuit I’ll probably end up in.
~~~~
Rachel on September 5:

Multiple personality anyone?

A friend of mine said he is a completely different person at work...like he's two people: work person vs. real person. I found this funny because I am not. I'm the exact opposite, in fact surprisingly, I'm still employed while being the same person at work and in real life. I'm quirky. I'm loud. I'm too honest.

So I thought I would try an experiment, can I be two different people at work? I spent the last two weeks recording situations and how "work Tennille" would have handled herself vs. how real Tennille handled herself. *Real Tennille comments are not word-for-word...what do you really think I want to lose my job? 

Wk = Work Tennille
Real = Real Tennille

Question: Tennille, can you clean up this deck and make it readable and appealing?
Wk: Of course! I'd love to help out.
Real: I'm going to pretend you're asking me because I'm creative and not because this is $hit work and I know you'll take credit for it later when our CEO loves it.

Question: Will you lead the Engagement committee?
Wk: Yes, this will be a great development opportunity and I am passionate about improving the workplace.
Real: @uck no! Cripes, am I the only person here with a sign saying "$hit on me!" Because I'm fun you assume I'd like to work on improving this hell? It's impossible to improve this place - I am not Jesus, I cannot perform miracles.

Question: Will you make a video starring our leadership team and have them address our fun in the workplace initiative? We need it by tomorrow.
Wk: I'd love to! It will be fun and easy considering how much our leadership believes in an initiative about more fun in the workplace. I also love short deadlines! This will be a great chance to test my execution capabilities.
Real: Fantastic. Now I have to swallow my pride and work with Media Services, who I've called mother @uckers to their faces numerous times. And you want this tomorrow? Too bad, our leadership team is in China, so...no, don't worry, I'll figure out a way to get it done. Maybe I'll use puppets, I mean that right there is fun, so we're starting the fun initiative with a bang! Sometimes I cry at night when I realize all of my creative energy is wasted on most people.

Question: What are some of your key accomplishments from last week?
Wk: I developed some informal feedback loops as it's one of my key development areas and will help me grow as a professional. I also completed project X which will benefit the team in terms of connectivity with our external partners.
Real: I cleaned up slides which have zero value. I updated my personal blog and made fun of most of you in this room. I spent about 20 hours on the internet reading funny stories about pets escaping from the zoo. I instant messaged everyone I know to tell them I'm debating chopping off my hair and got zero feedback. I survived a panic attack by taking some extremely powerful sedatives. So overall a pretty good week. Thank you for asking.

------------
Rachel preggers - August

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I can't sleep and am watching late night movies. While normally this would bother me (I like my sleep bitches), I am so happy because it's JAMES BOND night! I've watched 2 Bond movies: Diamonds Are Forever and Never Say Never Again (yes, I still consider this a Bond film no matter the controversy).

So I figured why not update my blog with another list of Happy Things? I know you've been waiting for it, don't lie to yourself or me any longer. Let's enjoy together the following list of Happy Things.

1) Ambien, Vicodin and NyQuil but not as a cocktail, taken separately
2) James Bond films - my favorite being Thunderball, and Goldfinger since there is a character named Tilly Masterson in it. Too bad she gets her head chopped off by Oddjob using his sharp brimmed bowler hat.
3) Driving with the windows down and having my hair blow everywhere. On a sunny day, about 70-75 degrees and listening to good tunes
4) Dilbert comic strip
5) The name Nigel
6) Anything by Christopher Buckley
7) Sleeping in the grass with Chester
8) Even numbers
9) Totally embarrassing myself at work. It's so dull there, I need to entertain myself and others
10) Sleeping in, napping, or watching movies all day in sweats
11) Mint chocolate chip ice cream with caramel sauce
12) Alexander Skarsgard of True Blood...in fact most of the men on True Blood. Including Sam Trammel, Ryan Kwanten and new comer Joe Manganiello. Would also say Nelsan Ellis makes me happy as Lafayette - hilarious!

OK, Ambien is starting to kick in! Good night. Watch Thunderball and enjoy the jet pack scene as well as the orange wet suit. : )

July is for Frat Boys

I dislike hot weather...humid, sticky, smelly hot weather. Therefore I declare July a crappy month. 

Here's a topic I've been thinking about for some time now.  What constitutes a nerd?

Can nerds and geeks be the same? If you were to define nerd, which famous person would you put as the face of nerd-dom?

Here is the Webster's Dictionary definition of a ...
Nerd:
    1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.
    2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd.
 
Geek:
    1. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
    2. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.
    3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken. 
 
First of all, who bites the heads of chickens?! If you know someone who wants to do this or has done this before, send me their address. I'll show up with a giant foot trap used for hunting and bite their head off. Bastards.
 
Secondly, aren't these two definitions practically the same thing?
 
My co-worker and I have had seriously in-depth conversations about the differences in opinion of what a nerd is. I think I'm attracted to nerds (or geek-chic if you will). She claims I am attracted to normal guys. One thing we both agree on is we aren't attracted to Frat Boys. Well what each of us defines as nerd, geek, frat boy, normal is completely different than the next person.
 
So I'd like to get come clarity around these terms. I mean can't we at least agree on classifications of a few famous people? I'll throw my ideas out there and you should to. We need to get this under control because it has the potential of exploding big time.
Nerd/Geek: Dwight Schrute, Wil Wheaton, Wes Anderson, Elvlis Costello, Michael Cera
Frat Boy: Vince Vaughn, John Stamos, Bradley Cooper
Normal: George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, John Krasinski

For the record, Nerds/Geeks and Normal boys are acceptable to bring home to mother and father. Frat Boys are only acceptable for the phone room.
_______________________

This is my good friend Rachel preggers! So cute!

'Squatch 2010

I had a totally tubular time in Seattle visiting Rachel (a.k.a. Cake) and for the Sasquatch Music Festival. Cake is like the coolest person ever to graduate from Glen Lake Elementary.

Here are a few pictures of bands we saw as well as randoms. Comments will follow pics.

 Cake:                                                POUND IT! (That's what she said):

Tent before and after:

                                                              

This is Bobcat the comedy guy...he's the one in yellow...the little dot. Do you see him?

She & Him - Zooey looks crazy! They weren't impressive at all...in fact very sad.

 MGMT: WORST LIVE SHOW EVER. They were lifeless and rude and sarcastic. I don't thinkI will be buying their albums.

Camera Obscura: LOVED these guys. They gave me the idea to start a band...I can play the trumpet, tambourine (like who can't!) and a salt shaker. Who wants to be my lead singer? Oh I also think we need to learn how to play guitar and banjo.... 

Hands down the best show of the day - Passion Pit. So much life! So much fun! So many cute boys! This is the lead singer, now my unofficial boyfriend, Michael Angelakos. Not sure how to pronounce his last name, but I know we can make our relationship last. Who wants to come to the wedding? We're having passionfruit martinis and peach pits as centerpieces. Ha ha ha, sigh...I am such a dork.

All in all, it was a great trip! The weather was nice, a few rain drops but at least it wasn't 90 degrees! And camping over night wasn't half bad. I slept a little bit with the help of my iPod. We all woke up to the sounds of nature - cows mooing, birds chirping and drunk frat boys yelling "JERK IT!"

I'd say that rounds out the trip. See ya next year 'Squatch!

A Few Good Things...

I was searching through my pile of books the other day hoping to find A Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing (this is a great book!). In my search I found an old journal - well not that old, I'd say five/six years. At that point in my life, for some reason, I started to keep track of things that made me happy. It's sort of fun to look back on it and remember certain people, albums, books, etc.

I'd like to share a few of my "favorite things" and will continue to post randoms along the way. I am reciting this list word-for-word from my journal. I'd love to hear what makes you smile, so please share with me and the four other followers.

Thanks for reading and continue to eat chicken.

20 Favorite Things:

  1)  Rainy days

  2)  Arrested Development TV show

  3)  Making people laugh

  4)  Someone complimenting me...and maybe vice versa, you know, depending on the person

  5)  Unfortunate things happening to certain people, like a bitchy girl in heels falling in front of a large crowd...and someone points and laughs...and then her boyfriend breaks up with her...and he sees me laughing and realizes I'm totally the girl he wants to date...and then we point and laugh at her together...total bliss

  6)  Beer and a great conversation - hopefully outside on a breezy night. A night where I can wear a sweatshirt or hoodie

  7)  My dog sleeping on my chest; her nose in my neck

  8)  No zits and a good hair day

  9)  Kjell's laugh

  10)  Getting money back from taxes

  11)  Amber's impression of Ezra [dog]

  12)  Thanksgiving dinner with my family, especially more turkey for dessert

  13)  Dad's inability to remember movie titles or actors, i.e. Victor Stallone (not Sylvester) or The Little Whorehouse in Texas (not The Little Shop of Horrors)

  14)  Campus Ladies TV show

  15)  Ice cold water

  16)  Blair laughing at one of my jokes/stories

  17)  Talking to my grandmother and swearing because she can't hear me

  18)  The smell of laundry

  19)  Scandals - entertainment or political

  20)  Finding people who watch The Fifth Element over and over again and never get sick of it

To be continued...

I wish I could marry a "Little Lion Man"

Tennille: I suggest you grab your car keys, bus money or iTunes card and purchase Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons right this minute. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Reader: But, Tennille, what kind of music is it? I don't want to buy it on your suggestion only. Remember, you made me go see Watchmen and The Men Who Stare at Goats. How can I trust you?

Tennille: Great question Reader. I agree a few of my suggestions have been rather sketchy. But remember when I told you to see Lars and the Real Girl? And what about Once? I think I remember you saying you enjoyed it. I also remember telling you Tom Hanks' best role was in A League of Their Own...despite how stupid the movie is. Another famous recommendation was Mars Attacks! You didn't really understand it, but I know you would have if you were me.

Reader: Ah, I really liked A League of Their Own. Are you making fun of it?

Tennille: That depends...if I said yes will you buy the CD?

The End of Sweater Vest Fest 2010...

Alas, we have reached the end, dear Reader. I know this is a week late, but to be honest I was trying to hold out hope that Julia had more vests.

For our last sweater post, I have 4 pictures. While viewing, please Reader don't shed any tears. I don't think I could bear it...I'm barely hanging on as it is.

On a completely different note, I took Chester to his first puppy training class this past week. The poor little guy was absolutely terrified. Luckily we were the only ones to show up, so the trainer spent an hour and a half training Chester one-on-one! He did a little bit better and warmed up to the scenery fairly well. Once we left the training room however he was like back to square one. Tomorrow I take him to Puppy Play Time! I can't wait to see him wee himself...it will be sad, but also adorable.

I was telling my co-workers about Chester's first session in the elevator at work today. I told them, "...for such a wild man at home, he was absolutely terrified there. She told me to take him to socialization classes!" A few men were riding with us and one said, "I sure hope you're not talking about your boyfriend!" We had a few laughs, I blushed and then quickly blurted out "OH gosh, no it's a puppy! I certainly hope I wouldn't have to train a boyfriend!" It was fun. Ah, yes, good times....

LAST PICTURES OF SWEATER VEST FEST 2010

Thanks to Julia for being such a great sport! Hopefully I can get Julia's husband to let me write about his pigeons...oh yes friends, he has pigeons. This might turn out to be the Julia and Ryan Blog....I wonder if they'll let me keep 'chicken' in the title....

You may delay, but time will not

Oh Benjamin Franklin, you old chesnut. How right you were about time. I delayed in posting yesterday and now it's Thursday. Oh well, it's a double sweater vest day!

I am very sad to report we only have one day left of Sweater Vest Fest 2010. Stop your quivering bottom lip, wipe those tears away. I will come up with something new!

Ending abruptly:

Yesterday:

Today:  

It's baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Have no fear followers - Sweater Vest Fest 2010 is back on! Today's vest is a great way to kick-off the second coming of sweater vest! I love Julia's color palette and her enthusiasm for picking this 14-day-sweater-vest-wearing-crusade back up after her Miami vacation.

With our two-week hiatus, I have to admit our photo "set" might not look exactly the same. So the phone may look off by a few inches or the lamp may be turned slightly. These are not the "spot-the-difference" points I'm looking for.

And while we are on the subject of wrong guesses, my best, most faithful follower, Rachel, is a) the only person to guess the differences and b) the only person to guess wrong (but also right) on 2 of the 9 pictures. To clarify: the post from March 23, Rachel guessed the phone cord as the change. Well yes, that was a change, but not the change. The answer I was looking for was the statue. Rachel still gets points because moments later she added the statue as another change.

The second mistake was from the March 30 post. On the 'today' picture Rachel guessed the flower pin Julia is wearing. While this was a change - I stated the changes would never have to do with what Julia is wearing. Therefore Rachel was wrong once again. The correct answer was the chair! Julia and I pulled a fast one on you Rachel! :)

All pointing-out-your-mistakes aside Rachel, thank you for being the most faithful follower of I Love Chicken. I really appreciate your support. You are my biggest cheerleader (in fact I picture you as Sandy from Grease except without the accent).

Sweater Vest Day 10: There are TWO (2) changes this week!

Hats off to Julia for being such a trooper!

Julia will be in Miami next week on vacation. I thought about making her continue the daily sweater vests then send me a picture, but let's be honest - it's way more fun to do this at work!

So because Easter is right around the corner, here is the Sweater Vest of the Day:

Dilbert question

My work friends have introduced me to the cartoon Dilbert. I've always known about it, just never interested in spending precious Sunday morning sleeping hours on a cartoon that didn't apply to me.

Now that I've grown up and sold my soul to the devil, I completely understand Dilbert. I even look forward to it. The only thing that bothers me is his tie. Why is it always pointing up? Please help me answer this!

----------------------
Sweater Vest Fest 2010 Day 8! I love Julia's outfit today. BTW her shoes match her blouse!

My Apologies...

Sorry Reader. I was out yesterday with a bug. My co-workers were kind enough to take a picture for me, but I didn't upload it until today. SO, you have TWO pictures to look at! YAY! I know, I know...you don't need to all jump at once.

I'm in a bad mood, so before I dig myself into a deeper rut, here are the pics. Enjoy....

Today

Yesterday:

Spring is here!

I saw the most disturbing billboard the other day. It was this picture of a nervous older gentleman, like say late 40's. The prespective was off so his head was huge and his body was small. I don't know how else to explain that so use your imagination folks! The caption read "Having sexual thoughts about children? Stop it now with help" and then included a phone number. Ah, I'm sorry but that is creepy. I have this horrible story play out in my mind: this pedophile is driving down the road in his 1987 beige Toyota Camry, sees the sign and thinks "that sign was made for me. I will call right now." AND I'm sharing the road with him?! AND he's driving a non-descript car?! AND I've already started dialing the police?! AND it turns out to be Dick Cheney?! Ah, the mind can really paint a picture can't it?

~~~~~~~~~~~
And now for something completely different!
Sweater Vest Fest Day 5: Spring has arrived, thanks to Julia's pastel outfit! (No, the change is not Julia on the phone...look harder....)

"I just found 2 more..."

Sweater Vest Fest Day 4

Julia informed me she found two more vests! We might have a three week span of sweater vests people! It's time to get excited!!

Sweater Vest Fest 2010 Day 3

What's changed? (P.S. Changes will never involve Julia. I mean come on, it would be really hard to get the same position, jewelry or hairstyle!)

How far is too far?

At the grocery store last night I was in an adventurous mood. Maybe too adventurous.... I like yogurt. I try to eat it once a day. I get sick of the normal flavors; Raspberry, Strawberry, Vanilla, etc. I will never try anything with banana, so Strawberry Banana and Banana Cream pie are out of the picture. Digression: these must be the most popular brands because the shelves are stocked to China and back with them...or least popular. 

Yogurt flavors have become a creative field since I was 10. They now have flavors like Apple Pie, Strawberry Orange Surprise and Blackberry. I think this is great because who doesn't enjoy a Key Lime Pie yogurt? However, I think they may have gone too far. If you are the daring type I suggest you partake in flavors like Pina Colada or the White Chocolate Strawberry. These, to me, are acceptable adventurous flavors - you can't go wrong. Completely unacceptable flavors, but appealing at first glance, are: Pineapple Upside Down Cake, Strawberry Shortcake and Cinnamon Roll.

I made the mistake of jumping at an unacceptable but appealing flavor - Red Velvet Cake. Do not get this flavor. I repeat, do not get this flavor. You will definitely be disappointed...very disappointed.

I asked my co-worker how a flavor like Key Lime Pie is so good, but Red Velvet Cake is so horribly disgusting. Her answer was simple - it's all in the texture. Real key lime pie has a texture similar to yogurt whereas red velvet cake does not. Therefore one would conclude, Red Velvet Cake yogurt will be disgusting.

I thought about adding a picture of my yogurt (yes I did take a few), but I don't want to get sued for posting a picture of a brand. If you really wish to see the pictures email me. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now for the Sweater of the Day! See if you can spot the difference....

12+ Days of sweater vests

Julia, my friend and co-worker, was cleaning out her closet a week back. She found she has at least 12 different sweater vests! I challenged her to wear one every day until she wears them out (pun intended)! So for the next 12+ days I will take a picture of her at the office in the same position, cube and environment. Here's the catch,  we will add, subtract or change something to the picture each day. See if you can tell what's changed! We also placed a bet. Julia thinks someone will say something about wearing sweater vests for 2 weeks straight. I, on the other hand, think we work for a non-confrontational, unfashionable company and therefore no one will say a word to her. A bottle of soda is at stake...

I think I'm going to cry...

It's finally here! I can't believe its taken this long! I think I might shed a tear or cry full-fledged like a little girl.

I don't even know where to begin, honestly. I think I'll post a picture first, then explain a little. However I don't think words will do justice...

The Lysol Automatic Handsoap Dispenser!! I have a list of things that would make a perfect world...this was on it. Oh yea, this is a germaphobes answer to stingy hand sanitizer. PLUS the soap smells like cucumber melon. It's like Lysol was thinking of me. I bet their think tank said "what can we do for Tennille? She's so cool and we just want to make her days go by a little bit faster, a little bit sweeter." Then the chic-geeky guy said, "I know! Let's make an automatic handsoap dispenser! She hates washing her hands because she has to push the already dirty pump. I feel so bad for her."

This is like my Oscar. My iPhone. My filet mignon. Whatever rocks your boat, this dispenser is like that for me. Obviously - I mean I a) wrote a blog about it, b) posted a blurb on facebook and c) took a flippin' picture! I'm obsessed! AND, it was only 5 bucks. Sniff, sniff...world peace has nothing on this dispenser.

Wikus Van De Merwe

Second posting within a week! I'm getting there!

This past week I've been home feeling like crap and having some fun Crohn's action. I had a fantastic colonoscopy - no active Crohn's(!) - but am having trouble feeling better right away.

So I'm working from home today and watching movies. My lovely sister brought over this large piece of heaven called District 9. I've been meaning to see it since it came out in theatres, but never got around to it. My sis held onto it for about 4 weeks before she watched it. And now I can tell everyone I have seen...no...experienced movie genius. For the first time in a few years I was blown away by a movie again. What was the last movie to blow me away? No idea, apparently that's how good it was;)

The main plot of the movie is this: Aliens landed on earth in Johannesburg, South Africa years ago (like the 80's). Over the next 15 years people get upset with aliens running around their community so the South African government builds this "camp" specifically for the aliens (which they derogatorily call "Prawns"...think shrimp). To keep this camp orderly the gov't builds an organization call MNU which basically treats the prawns like illegal aliens with lots of regulation, segregation (think human rights era so signs for human and alien water fountains) and weapon laws. This camp is about 2 miles outside of the city and now the gov't wants to move all the prawns to a camp really far away to stop violence and whatever. Thus teh story of MNU trying to get evict all the aliens to another camp.

This film starts out in documentary form, centering on one character, Wikus Van De Merwe. Wikus works for MNU and his father-in-law (VP of MNU) promotes him to be like the project manager of this effort to evict and move all the aliens. The documentary follows him as he prepares his co-workers for the effort. Without giving any more away, this is the start of a major character transformation. Wikus is pretty weak as a person - you can tell within the first 10 minutes of the film. His journey to the end of the movie is inspiring.

This film is very grisly. Zero scary, but lots of body parts exploding. So for those who are weak in watching gooey explosions - maybe hold off on this. Besides the blood, you will go on an emotional roller coaster. I was on edge for the last hour of the film when the action goes into overload.

One thing I will tell you is: PAY ATTENTION. It was a little hard to understand some people and the film moves fast. So maybe don't work on a PowerPoint for your companys' shareholders. Just a suggestion.

Thank goodness it's March!

There's something about February...it's the shortest month of the year, but it feels like the longest. I also hate it when I expect one more week and don't get it. Gosh it's frustrating.

So what do I have to report on this time? Nothing really. I'm the most boring person in the world. I swear I am not cool anymore. While yes, I am ridiuclously funny and witty (they are two different things), I feel like I've lost all my cool within the last few years.

I know you're asking yourself, what's her reasoning? Whenever I catch up with someone I have nothing to report...
1) My job? Eh, it's okay - but do you really want to hear about how annoying powerpoint is? How I feel stupid on a daily basis because I didn't know forever is really "for ever"? Or how no one at work is happy so I feel I have to double my efforts in making people laugh and have therefore resorted to physical injury? Last week I walked into a wall to make someone feel superior. Did it work? Of course it did.. "Gosh Tennille you are stupid." ah, my life is complete at work- a constant barrage of insults for the sake of making everyone feel better about themselves. Awesome.
2) My dating life. HA! It's non-existent. Well, let me take that back. I went on a date with a guy from work about a month ago. It was interesting. First, wasn't expecting it to turn into a date (it originally started as lunch together at work). Second, he's 26 and immature. Not once did he ask me a question about myself! My friend Katie says this will continue to happen until I'm 40. Men just don't ask questions. It's like too much work for them. Anyway, he didn't ask me about myself, he smokes pot daily (times 10) and he's going to quit his job in September and go on a 2 year bike ride. I have nothing wrong with that last point except we are obviously in two different places in life.
3) My family. We're good - nothing serious or fun to report. Porter is 4 and he's...ah...a 4-year old boy. Enough said.

So decision made - I'm not cool anymore. Therefore I say to all of you who read this - yes all 3 of you - what makes one cool? I got a tat and a puppy. Does that make me cool? I have a blog - I just don't write in it. I have red hair, which is grounds for interesting (and not that Minnesota interesting that really means "I don't know how to be polite so I'll say interesting"). I drive a Saturn. I have more friends on facebook than I actually hang out with. I work for a agriculture/meat company and can't get myself to eat meat anymore. I have one of the coolest diseases you could think of :)

Okay, enough pitying. I know I'm generally cool, but I want to be super cool. Just not sure how to start. I'm open to suggestions...

Month of absence

Greetings Readers!

I apologize for not blogging for such a long time. I'm sure all of you were torn up inside about it, right?

The reason I haven't blogged is this:


This is Chester, my new, adopted puppy. He is absolutely the sweetest thing alive and is so happy to have a nice home finally. Chester gets along with the other dogs well and loves to lay like this:


I love him to death, I just wish he'd get a little more girth because he has yet to keep me warm at night. More Chester tales to come...