Dilbert question

My work friends have introduced me to the cartoon Dilbert. I've always known about it, just never interested in spending precious Sunday morning sleeping hours on a cartoon that didn't apply to me.

Now that I've grown up and sold my soul to the devil, I completely understand Dilbert. I even look forward to it. The only thing that bothers me is his tie. Why is it always pointing up? Please help me answer this!

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Sweater Vest Fest 2010 Day 8! I love Julia's outfit today. BTW her shoes match her blouse!

My Apologies...

Sorry Reader. I was out yesterday with a bug. My co-workers were kind enough to take a picture for me, but I didn't upload it until today. SO, you have TWO pictures to look at! YAY! I know, I know...you don't need to all jump at once.

I'm in a bad mood, so before I dig myself into a deeper rut, here are the pics. Enjoy....

Today

Yesterday:

Spring is here!

I saw the most disturbing billboard the other day. It was this picture of a nervous older gentleman, like say late 40's. The prespective was off so his head was huge and his body was small. I don't know how else to explain that so use your imagination folks! The caption read "Having sexual thoughts about children? Stop it now with help" and then included a phone number. Ah, I'm sorry but that is creepy. I have this horrible story play out in my mind: this pedophile is driving down the road in his 1987 beige Toyota Camry, sees the sign and thinks "that sign was made for me. I will call right now." AND I'm sharing the road with him?! AND he's driving a non-descript car?! AND I've already started dialing the police?! AND it turns out to be Dick Cheney?! Ah, the mind can really paint a picture can't it?

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And now for something completely different!
Sweater Vest Fest Day 5: Spring has arrived, thanks to Julia's pastel outfit! (No, the change is not Julia on the phone...look harder....)

"I just found 2 more..."

Sweater Vest Fest Day 4

Julia informed me she found two more vests! We might have a three week span of sweater vests people! It's time to get excited!!

Sweater Vest Fest 2010 Day 3

What's changed? (P.S. Changes will never involve Julia. I mean come on, it would be really hard to get the same position, jewelry or hairstyle!)

How far is too far?

At the grocery store last night I was in an adventurous mood. Maybe too adventurous.... I like yogurt. I try to eat it once a day. I get sick of the normal flavors; Raspberry, Strawberry, Vanilla, etc. I will never try anything with banana, so Strawberry Banana and Banana Cream pie are out of the picture. Digression: these must be the most popular brands because the shelves are stocked to China and back with them...or least popular. 

Yogurt flavors have become a creative field since I was 10. They now have flavors like Apple Pie, Strawberry Orange Surprise and Blackberry. I think this is great because who doesn't enjoy a Key Lime Pie yogurt? However, I think they may have gone too far. If you are the daring type I suggest you partake in flavors like Pina Colada or the White Chocolate Strawberry. These, to me, are acceptable adventurous flavors - you can't go wrong. Completely unacceptable flavors, but appealing at first glance, are: Pineapple Upside Down Cake, Strawberry Shortcake and Cinnamon Roll.

I made the mistake of jumping at an unacceptable but appealing flavor - Red Velvet Cake. Do not get this flavor. I repeat, do not get this flavor. You will definitely be disappointed...very disappointed.

I asked my co-worker how a flavor like Key Lime Pie is so good, but Red Velvet Cake is so horribly disgusting. Her answer was simple - it's all in the texture. Real key lime pie has a texture similar to yogurt whereas red velvet cake does not. Therefore one would conclude, Red Velvet Cake yogurt will be disgusting.

I thought about adding a picture of my yogurt (yes I did take a few), but I don't want to get sued for posting a picture of a brand. If you really wish to see the pictures email me. :)

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And now for the Sweater of the Day! See if you can spot the difference....

12+ Days of sweater vests

Julia, my friend and co-worker, was cleaning out her closet a week back. She found she has at least 12 different sweater vests! I challenged her to wear one every day until she wears them out (pun intended)! So for the next 12+ days I will take a picture of her at the office in the same position, cube and environment. Here's the catch,  we will add, subtract or change something to the picture each day. See if you can tell what's changed! We also placed a bet. Julia thinks someone will say something about wearing sweater vests for 2 weeks straight. I, on the other hand, think we work for a non-confrontational, unfashionable company and therefore no one will say a word to her. A bottle of soda is at stake...

I think I'm going to cry...

It's finally here! I can't believe its taken this long! I think I might shed a tear or cry full-fledged like a little girl.

I don't even know where to begin, honestly. I think I'll post a picture first, then explain a little. However I don't think words will do justice...

The Lysol Automatic Handsoap Dispenser!! I have a list of things that would make a perfect world...this was on it. Oh yea, this is a germaphobes answer to stingy hand sanitizer. PLUS the soap smells like cucumber melon. It's like Lysol was thinking of me. I bet their think tank said "what can we do for Tennille? She's so cool and we just want to make her days go by a little bit faster, a little bit sweeter." Then the chic-geeky guy said, "I know! Let's make an automatic handsoap dispenser! She hates washing her hands because she has to push the already dirty pump. I feel so bad for her."

This is like my Oscar. My iPhone. My filet mignon. Whatever rocks your boat, this dispenser is like that for me. Obviously - I mean I a) wrote a blog about it, b) posted a blurb on facebook and c) took a flippin' picture! I'm obsessed! AND, it was only 5 bucks. Sniff, sniff...world peace has nothing on this dispenser.

Wikus Van De Merwe

Second posting within a week! I'm getting there!

This past week I've been home feeling like crap and having some fun Crohn's action. I had a fantastic colonoscopy - no active Crohn's(!) - but am having trouble feeling better right away.

So I'm working from home today and watching movies. My lovely sister brought over this large piece of heaven called District 9. I've been meaning to see it since it came out in theatres, but never got around to it. My sis held onto it for about 4 weeks before she watched it. And now I can tell everyone I have seen...no...experienced movie genius. For the first time in a few years I was blown away by a movie again. What was the last movie to blow me away? No idea, apparently that's how good it was;)

The main plot of the movie is this: Aliens landed on earth in Johannesburg, South Africa years ago (like the 80's). Over the next 15 years people get upset with aliens running around their community so the South African government builds this "camp" specifically for the aliens (which they derogatorily call "Prawns"...think shrimp). To keep this camp orderly the gov't builds an organization call MNU which basically treats the prawns like illegal aliens with lots of regulation, segregation (think human rights era so signs for human and alien water fountains) and weapon laws. This camp is about 2 miles outside of the city and now the gov't wants to move all the prawns to a camp really far away to stop violence and whatever. Thus teh story of MNU trying to get evict all the aliens to another camp.

This film starts out in documentary form, centering on one character, Wikus Van De Merwe. Wikus works for MNU and his father-in-law (VP of MNU) promotes him to be like the project manager of this effort to evict and move all the aliens. The documentary follows him as he prepares his co-workers for the effort. Without giving any more away, this is the start of a major character transformation. Wikus is pretty weak as a person - you can tell within the first 10 minutes of the film. His journey to the end of the movie is inspiring.

This film is very grisly. Zero scary, but lots of body parts exploding. So for those who are weak in watching gooey explosions - maybe hold off on this. Besides the blood, you will go on an emotional roller coaster. I was on edge for the last hour of the film when the action goes into overload.

One thing I will tell you is: PAY ATTENTION. It was a little hard to understand some people and the film moves fast. So maybe don't work on a PowerPoint for your companys' shareholders. Just a suggestion.

Thank goodness it's March!

There's something about February...it's the shortest month of the year, but it feels like the longest. I also hate it when I expect one more week and don't get it. Gosh it's frustrating.

So what do I have to report on this time? Nothing really. I'm the most boring person in the world. I swear I am not cool anymore. While yes, I am ridiuclously funny and witty (they are two different things), I feel like I've lost all my cool within the last few years.

I know you're asking yourself, what's her reasoning? Whenever I catch up with someone I have nothing to report...
1) My job? Eh, it's okay - but do you really want to hear about how annoying powerpoint is? How I feel stupid on a daily basis because I didn't know forever is really "for ever"? Or how no one at work is happy so I feel I have to double my efforts in making people laugh and have therefore resorted to physical injury? Last week I walked into a wall to make someone feel superior. Did it work? Of course it did.. "Gosh Tennille you are stupid." ah, my life is complete at work- a constant barrage of insults for the sake of making everyone feel better about themselves. Awesome.
2) My dating life. HA! It's non-existent. Well, let me take that back. I went on a date with a guy from work about a month ago. It was interesting. First, wasn't expecting it to turn into a date (it originally started as lunch together at work). Second, he's 26 and immature. Not once did he ask me a question about myself! My friend Katie says this will continue to happen until I'm 40. Men just don't ask questions. It's like too much work for them. Anyway, he didn't ask me about myself, he smokes pot daily (times 10) and he's going to quit his job in September and go on a 2 year bike ride. I have nothing wrong with that last point except we are obviously in two different places in life.
3) My family. We're good - nothing serious or fun to report. Porter is 4 and he's...ah...a 4-year old boy. Enough said.

So decision made - I'm not cool anymore. Therefore I say to all of you who read this - yes all 3 of you - what makes one cool? I got a tat and a puppy. Does that make me cool? I have a blog - I just don't write in it. I have red hair, which is grounds for interesting (and not that Minnesota interesting that really means "I don't know how to be polite so I'll say interesting"). I drive a Saturn. I have more friends on facebook than I actually hang out with. I work for a agriculture/meat company and can't get myself to eat meat anymore. I have one of the coolest diseases you could think of :)

Okay, enough pitying. I know I'm generally cool, but I want to be super cool. Just not sure how to start. I'm open to suggestions...