I am in need of some serious help. Please don’t call 9-1-1 until you hear me out. If after you hear what I have to say you think this situation requires police intervention, then please by all means call 9-1-1.
Reader, as you know, I am a huge movie buff. So when I received my cousins wedding invitation I jumped for joy. Seriously, I jumped – Chet ran away. It’s a movie themed wedding in … wait for it … are you excited … wait … awwww yea … LAS VEGAS! Vegas baby, Vegas!
So a list of why this event is totally and absolutely mahhhvelous.
1) Its in Vegas and I’ve never been.
2) It’s a movie themed wedding; guests should (er, have to) dress up as a movie character or celebrity.
3) Its in January so it won’t be freaking hot.
4) My dad may go as Mrs. Doubtfire.
You’re probably thinking at this moment, “Gosh this is the perfect idea for Tennille - a movie themed wedding? She’s got it made. While everyone else will go as Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman, Tennille probably has a list of the coolest characters ever in her back pocket!”
Well you, sir, are wrong. It is a great idea – but it’s the hardest decision I’ve had to make in years….YEARS Reader! Go red? Easy-peasy lemon squeezy! Go to college? Piece of cake! Start a real career at a boring company? Done! This however, is pure torture. Talk about needing some Ritalin to focus on who to go as.
I have ADHD on a somewhat regular basis, but since I’ve received this invitation, I have ADHDTI (that’s Times Infinity). So many questions have surfaced....
1) Can I go as a male character?
2) Is this about testing people, therefore I should pick the most random character ever?
3) Do I have to go as someone I look like, therefore the character should have red hair?
4) Or do I have to go as someone I act like?
5) Will I have to recite lines?
6) Will I have to act like this person the entire night?
7) I’m going to want to be comfortable because I’ll be partying in Vegas, right?
8) Do I tag along with my sister as The Bride from Kill Bill? My sister is going as O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) and my cousin is going as Elle Driver (Darryl Hannah). I would then be The Bride (Uma) in a kick-ass yellow suit. The only reason this idea sounds great is because of the purchase of awesome yellow tennis shoes. But it would just be the three of us – no Bill, no Vernita Green and no Budd – which sounds weird to me. Does it to you dear Reader?
9) If I go as a red-haired character – I’m left with a short list which includes [sigh] Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Who else does this list include?
10) Do I want to look sexy, scary or funny?
11) Do I listen to my neighbor and go as Lucille Ball or Molly Ringwald from Pretty in Pink?
12) Do I have to go all out? Like if the character has black hair – do I absolutely need to wear a wig?
So Reader, here comes the “ask”. Please help me come up with a few movie characters. I’ll be taking a poll once I can get the list down to 10. Here are a few (er, a lot of) random ideas (other than those mentioned above):
1) Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything
2) Lucille or Lindsay Bluth from Arrested Development
3) Fanny Brice from Funny Girl
4) Tallahasse (Woody Harrelson) or Bill Murray from Zombieland
5) Peter Vankman from Ghostbusters
6) Lelo from The Fifth Element
7) Buddy the Elf from Elf
8) Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada
9) Lois or Peter Griffin from The Family Guy
10) Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction
11) Amelie from Amelie
12) Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
13) Pris or Rachael from Blade Runner
14) Hit Girl from Kick-Ass
15) Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde
I’d appreciate some recommendations soon, so I can start losing a ton of weight to fit into the Catwoman bodysuit I’ll probably end up in.
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Rachel on September 5:
